


Protecting Sam

by whiteraven1606



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angelic Soulbond, Blindfolds, Cutting, Dildos, Disturbing Themes, Dream Sex, Drugged Sex, Eating Disorders, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fingerfucking, First Time, Fisting, Forced Orgasm, Gags, Gangbang, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Muteness, Platonic Soulmates, Porn, Porn Watching, Post Hell, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con References, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex, Scars, Sex Toys, Slash, Sounding, Underage Sex, Vibrator, de-aged character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 09:02:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteraven1606/pseuds/whiteraven1606
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has always protected Sam. Gabriel shows Sam this in an undeniable way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. De-aged Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Non-con references to Dean's time in Hell only. No rape scenes. Although there are sex scenes involving drugged!underaged!Dean, who drugs himself. The sex scenes are in the even numbered chapters.
> 
> Edit: Due to a unhappy commenter I'm adding a note here. There is a suggestion for Sam/Cas happening, maybe, in the future, after the end of this fic. Characters talk about it, nothing happens between them, so, no, I didn't tag for it since it doesn't happen in this fic. People have different opinions about how they tag and this is mine.

****

Sam stared down at the small boy looking back up at him. "You did _what_ , Gabriel?"

Gabriel handed the boy a sucker. "I reduced your brother to his six year old self. You get to be the big brother for a week, Sammy-boy." He grinned. "Have fun."

Sam shook his head at the empty spot where Gabriel had been. "Just great." He knelt down and looked Dean over. Sam frowned. "Hey, Dean. Uhm, did you hear what we were talking about?"

Dean tilted his head and looked around them. He wrinkled his nose and looked back towards Sam, but he wasn't making eye contact.

"Okay." Sam reached towards Dean and lifted him up without any protest. He stood up with Dean in his arms and headed for the nearer bed. "How old are you?"

Dean sniffed and held up six fingers.

Sam nodded. "That's good. That's great. I know I'm not your Dad, but..." Sam let Dean down onto the bed as he started to squirm.

Dean crawled to the head of the bed and pulled a pillow between himself and Sam. He peered over the top of it at Sam.

Sam licked his lip as he sat down. "Dean?"

With heaving breathes, Dean pushed the pillow down far enough to frown at Sam.

"I shouldn't mention Dad?"

Dean shook his head and hid behind the pillow again.

Sam grimaced and moved a little closer along the bed. "I can do that. We can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about?"

Peeking out around the pillow, Dean looked at Sam like he was an idiot. 

Sam spread his hands. "Do you understand that you aren't normally a kid? That I'm your brother... Sammy?"

Dean blinked and pushed the pillow down between them. "Sammy?"

Sam could feel tears threatening at the horrible unused rasp of Dean's faint voice. "Yes. I'm Sammy." He shrugged his shoulders with his hands still spread. "All grown up."

Dean's face crumpled and he started to sob.

"Oh, shit." Sam started to reach for Dean, but he didn't get far as Dean crawled across the bed and climbed into Sam's lap with his pillow in tow, sobbing the whole way. "Okay, Dean. We'll fix it. Okay?"

Dean buried his face in Sam's chest and kept right on sobbing.

****

Castiel tried to push past his brother, but Gabriel held him fast. "He requires help."

Gabriel pulled Castiel to sit down beside him. "Just give it a little time, bro."

"I do not see how time will fix Dean's situation, which you have created."

"It isn't about Dean." Gabriel shrugged. "Well, not so much."

"What do you mean?" Castiel stopped struggling and settled against Gabriel's side. He was very tired most of the time now. It weighed on him to have no help with the Winchesters.

Gabriel curled his wing around Castiel's side. "Sam doesn't get it. What all Dean has gone through in protecting Sam." He gestured with the candy bar in his hand. "Dean wouldn't want his precious Sammy to know, but Sam...Well, Sam would do well to have a damn clue shoved up his ass."

Castiel refrained from asking how injuring Sam would help. He'd heard Dean say similar things often enough. "Sam will only pester Dean once he is restored to his proper age."

Gabriel smiled. "Yep."

****

Sam had tried everything he could think of to get Dean to stop crying. Nothing worked until Sam mentioned food. He watched Dean eat like the food was going to be taken right out of his hand. He rubbed at Dean's back. "You can slow down, Dean. No one is going to take it away from you."

Dean shook his head and kept stuffing his face. "Might not get more." He glanced up at Sam from the corner of his eye and ducked down into a tighter hunched over position. "Sorry."

Sam slid one hand down the side of his face as he kept rubbing circles on Dean's back with the other hand. "Nothing to be sorry for, Dean."

Only once all the food was gone did Dean uncurl a little. Sam wrapped him up in blanket and leaned back with Dean against his chest. "Thanks for not running away from me."

Dean picked at Sam's shirt sleeve. "You're nice."

"Yeah?" Sam pulled Dean's pillow over and tucked it under Dean's head. "Is that a good thing?"

Dean shrugged against Sam. "Guess so."

"You want to go to sleep? I promise to watch over you."

"No." Dean pushed against Sam's chest until he was sitting upright. "I have to be up."

Sam helped Dean work his arms out of the tangle he'd made of the blanket. "What do you mean?"

"Dad..." Dean frowned and pulled the blanket up around himself more and laid his head on his knees. He looked up at Sam from his one visible eye. "You won't tell on me?"

Sam shook his head and tired to smile. "No. Not about this. Not anything you say right now. Okay?"

Dean bit his lip and closed his eyes. "Dad is broken." Dean lifted his head and burrowed into Sam's chest, bunching the blanket between them. "He forgets us...me. He remembers Sammy now when he cries, but not me."

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean. "What does that have to do with you not sleeping?"

Dean sniffed and pushed his head into Sam's sternum. "He'll forget me and leave with Sammy."

"Oh, Dean."

"I have to protect Sammy." Dean clutched at Sam's shirt. "He needs fed and changed. Dad might forget. He...forgets..."

Sam began to rock from side to side slowly. "Shhh. Okay. It'll be okay. How about we sleep in the Impala? Then if Dad leaves he'll take you right along, how about that?"

"Yeah?" Dean snaked one arm around Sam's side. "Please."

"Sure. No problem." Sam worked his way into standing without having to put Dean down. He snagged another blanket from the other bed and made Dean a bed in the back of the Impala. "I'm going to sit up because I'm too tall to lay down in here, okay?"

Dean twisted around so the top of his head was against the outside of Sam's thigh. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

He plucked at the seam of Sam's jeans. "Do I have to keep talking?"

Sam laid his hand on Dean's side. "No. You sound like you haven't been talking a lot lately. We could just do yes and no questions until you can sleep. How about that?"

Dean nodded and pulled Sam's hand down to his chest where he pressed it against himself.

Sam ran his free hand through his hair. "Okay. You move around a lot?"

Dean nodded.

"And you take care of Sammy?"

Another nod.

Sam bit his lip. "Are you hungry most of the time?"

Dean hesitated and then nodded quickly. He clutched Sam's hand tighter to his chest.

"It is alright. You haven't done anything wrong, Dean." Sam pressed his thumb against Dean's chest and rubbed a little circle. "Is Sammy going hungry like you?"

Dean shook his head violently.

Sam covered his eyes with the hand not soothing Dean. "That's...great, Dean. You are a really good brother." He bit his lips and took a deep breathe before lifting his head up. "You don't want to talk since Mom died?"

Dean sniffed and nodded slowly.

"Not even to Dad?"

Dean reached his hand up onto Sam's knee. "Just to Sammy. He wants to know words so I tell him. He points at stuff and makes faces."

Sam wiped at his eyes. "That's awesome, Dean. That you are willing to talk for him." He threaded his fingers through Dean's hair as he used the hand on Dean's chest to sooth little circles on Dean's shirt. "Just sleep, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

Dean tight hold on Sam's hand eased somewhat as he slipped into sleep. Sam resisted the urge to shift his legs from their cramped position. He didn't want to wake Dean.

****

Sam woke up when something moved against him and then thumped into the door on the other side of the car. He rubbed at his eyes as Sam turned to stare at Dean. He was a little older than when he'd gone to sleep. Eight maybe. Sam blinked at the way Dean's clothes had adjusted size with his change in age. "Hey."

Dean pulled his sleeves down over his hands and adverted his eyes. "Hi."

"You remember last night?"

Dean shrugged.

Sam nodded. "Great. You hungry?"

Dean lifted his head and narrowed his eyes at Sam. "How do I know you are really Sammy?"

Sam racked his brain for something they done when Dean was seven or eight that no one else knew about. "I used to think green jello could birth aliens from that one movie Predator because you insisted their eggs could hide like they did."

Dean smiled widely. "Yeah." He frowned. "I'm sorry about that."

Sam's eyebrows drew together. "What for? You liked green jello."

"That's why I told you that." Dean wrapped his arms around himself. "So I could have something to eat that I knew you wouldn't want."

"Oh." Sam climbed out of the car to cover the sudden attack of guilt he was having. He reached back in and held his hand out towards Dean. "Breakfast time."

Dean avoided Sam's hand and climbed out of the car. "Can we have bacon?"

Sam frowned as he started to clap Dean on the shoulder, but Dean deftly sidestepped that. "Sure. Anything you want." He locked up the car and lead Dean towards the diner across the parking lot.

****

Sam kept smiling at the waitress as Dean put away more food than he normally did in two meals as an adult. "Slow down a little. Don't make yourself sick."

Dean swallowed the bite he'd been chewing. "This is totally cool." He pointed his fork at Sam. "You grow up great." He put more food in his mouth. "Just saying."

Sam nodded and took another gulp of his coffee. "Yeah. You'll change your mind later on that."

Dean put his fork down. "What do you mean?"

"I, ah, sort of disappoint you. I think." 

"Nah." Dean smiled at him. "You're Sammy. I'm sure you turn out great."

Sam blinked. "Wow. Okay." He pointed at Dean's empty plate. "Do you want more?"

Dean bit his lip as he looked down at his plate. "Could we get something to take with us?"

He could feel his chest constricting at the implications, but Sam nodded anyway. "Sure, Dean. We can do that."

****

Sam quickly found that eight year old Dean didn't want touched at all. He settled on the other bed from where Dean was sprawled on his stomach watching a cartoon. "You don't mind talking?"

Dean shrugged and changed the volume of the TV. "You never understood why I didn't want to talk. I got over it."

"Are you okay?" Sam frowned as Dean plucked at the comforter he was laying on.

"What do you care?" Dean pulled his legs under himself and sat most of the way up. "I don't matter."

"What?" Sam forced himself not to reach across to try to touch Dean. "What are you talking about?"

Dean snorted and clicked the TV off. He looked at the remote in his hands. "Dad cares about you. Everything he says is about watching you or protecting you." Dean frowned. "I know you're little and all." He glanced at Sam. "Normally little. I just..." Dean pressed his lips together.

Sam licked his lip. "Dean, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

Dean stared at him. "Are you stupid?"

"No." Sam cocked his head. "You must have something you want for yourself."

"You are stupid." Dean shook his head as he moved to the far side of his bed and dangled his legs over the edge. "What about you are more important didn't you hear? What I want hasn't mattered since Mom died." He clenched his hands on top of his knees. "Sometimes I think Dad doesn't..." 

"Doesn't what, Dean?"

Dean shook his head and stood up. "It doesn't matter. I grow up to be a hunter like him, so why even think about it?"

Sam clasped his hands in his lap. "I'd still like to know."

With another snort, Dean headed into the bathroom. "Still a persistent pain in my butt, huh, Sammy?"

Sam grimaced as the bathroom door closed between them.

****

Sam wasn't surprised to wake up the next morning to a ten year old Dean that refused to move from his bed. "You aren't hungry?"

Dean pulled the bedspread up over his face. "Just figure out how to fix me, Sammy. You are a giant, did you know that?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, Dean, I've been taller than you for a whi..." Sam drew a sharp breathe. "I'm, uh, going to go get us breakfast."

Dean made an aborted move to sit up. "Fine."

With a frown, Sam moved a little closer to Dean's bed. "You want to come? You can."

The blanket over Dean's face made a small noise as Dean shook his head. "Nope."

Sam leaned against the room's door after he closed it. "Shit." He thumbed through his wallet until he found his single picture of them with their Dad where they were all smiling from around Sam's high school graduation. Dean was shorter than him even then. "How tall would he be if he hadn't gone hungry?"

Sam crossed the parking lot in a sort of daze as he thought about Dean's height, his bowed legs, and how he'd eat everything in reach like a compulsion anytime he was ill. 

****

Dean at twelve was helpful and fascinated with Sam's computer. Sam watched him as Dean wrote code in the notepad program.

"Where did you learn that?"

Dean shrugged. "I taught myself." He looked up from the computer. "Sometimes databases don't link things together like Dad needs."

Sam pointed at the computer. "You learned it to help Dad?"

"No." Dean pushed away from the tiny motel table. "I learned it to help me. If Dad is busy he doesn't get upset with me about you."

Even though he was pleased that Dean was talking about things, Sam still frowned. "What do you mean?"

Dean sat on the bed and leaned against Sam's side. "I disappointed Dad and now if anything goes wrong it is totally my fault."

"Oh." Sam gingerly wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulders. "What does your code do?"

Dean used his hands as he talked. "I told the databases to link things we need to know and used a special phrase so I can pull up the results."

Sam had a flash of adult Dean typing in 'freaky accidents' and getting just what they needed to know. "Wow. That's awesome, Dean."

"Sure." Dean pulled away and flopped on the bed. "Whatever."

Sam left him alone.

****

Sam sat on the curb outside of their hotel room and glared at Gabriel smirking at him. "Fix it."

"I don't think you've seen the point, yet, kiddo."

Sam lifted his chin. "Really?" Sam pointed at Gabriel. "You have made your point. Dean has lost his whole damn life to protect me. And I think I figured that out when he sold his soul, thanks."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "You are so stubborn." He sat down next to Sam. "I can see why you're Luci's vessel."

"What?"

"He's a stubborn ass too." Gabriel flapped his hand at Sam. "Oh, be quiet." He frowned across the parking lot. "Dean's primary focus has been you. What you need, want, yadda." He leaned back on his hands and stared up at the sky. "Before I did this, when did you ever give a thought to how your actions affect him?"

Sam rubbed his chin. "I...Not a lot." He grimaced.

"Yeah." Gabriel smiled sadly. "Luci and Mikey haven't ever given it a damn thought either." He looked at Sam. "You think I just waltzed out of there without giving it a lot of thought?"

"Oh." Sam blinked. "Then what are you trying to teach me? I'm listening."

Gabriel stood up and grinned down at Sam. "You'll see."

Sam sighed at the empty spot Gabriel left behind and stood up to go inside.

****

Fourteen year old Dean was quiet and wanted to stay in the Impala anytime he didn't need to go to the bathroom. Sam offered to sit out there with him, but Dean had just looked at him like he was looking through Sam. He finally consented to coming inside for dinner.

Sam frowned when Dean refused to eat anything. "Dean, please, you need to eat."

"It costs money to feed me." He poked at the plate and they both could hear his stomach rumble.

"I already bought the food, Dean." Sam leaned back and cross his arms over his chest. "It shouldn't go to waste if you are hungry."

Dean glared at him. "You eat it."

"I already ate mine, Dean. We're talking about your food."

With a huff, Dean pushed away from the table and rummaged in one of the duffel bags. "I am _not_ hungry. Quit trying to make me eat."

Sam gathered up Dean's food and put it into the small fridge. "It is in here if you want it later." He laid down and ignored Dean in favor of watching TV. Until he noticed Dean taking one of the small, very sharp knives into the bathroom. "Hey."

Dean froze. "What?"

"Why do you have that?"

Dean glanced down at the knife. "What do you care?"

Sam sat up. "Dean, I care. So answer the question."

Dean gripped the handle of the knife and bit his lip. "No."

"Dean."

Dean whirled around and brandished the knife at him. "What? You _want_ to know that I cut myself?" He stood there, his ribs heaving from the effort to breath. "You want to know that I sometimes wish I'd died with Mom because then Dad could have his prefect son and I wouldn't have to disappoint him all the time?"

Sam eased into a standing position.

Dean dropped the knife onto the bed between them. "Take it! I can just get another."

"Dean."

"Oh, don't 'Dean' me." He backed himself into the tiny corner made by the wall for the bathroom. "I...I'm sorry." He folded himself into the corner and buried his head against his knees.

Sam took the knife and tucked it away before going over and settling on the floor in front of Dean. "I'm going to touch you, okay?" When he didn't get a protest, Sam eased forward until he could pull Dean into a hug. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"Why?" Dean stayed stiff in his arms. "You didn't ask for an idiot for a brother."

Sam closed his eyes. "Dean, you are really smart. I know you are. I don't always say things in support of that, but that's not your fault."

Dean shook his head. "Nah. I'm going to drop out. I can't be wasting everyone's time. I need to be making some money. You've got a school trip next month."

Sam pulled Dean in tighter against himself. "Oh, Dean."

****

Sam woke to Gabriel sitting between him and a sleeping sixteen year old Dean. "What is it?"

Gabriel frowned. "I thought I'd tell you I'm done and I'll turn him back into his usual sunny self."

"No." Sam covered his mouth with his hand for a moment, surprised with himself for his outburst. He lowered his hand and looked at Dean. "No, Gabriel. You started this. You wanted me to learn, so I'm going to learn."

With a nod, Gabriel stood up. "Just don't be surprised."

Sam nodded and while he blinked Gabriel left. "Terrible idea, Sam." He stood up and went to the bathroom. When he came back out, Dean was sitting on his bed, under the covers with a fake smile firmly in place.

Sam sat down on the other bed and rubbed his wet hair with a towel. "Where are your cutting scars?"

Dean shook his head, the fake smile falling away. "Seriously? You want to know about that?"

"Yes, Dean. I want to know about that."

Dean threw back the covers and worked his way to the edge of the bed. "What? And I suppose you want to know how I get money to feed us and house us when Dad fucking forgets to pay the room rent because he found a lead on the thing that killed Mom?"

Sam steeled himself. "Yes, Dean."

Dean frowned. "No, you don't. It'll just make you leave me all the faster."

"I'm not going to leave you now." Sam reached across the space between the beds, ignored Dean's flinch, and held onto Dean's hands. "I did once, but..." Sam ducked his head down to catch Dean's eyes. "Dean, I will not leave you again."

Dean pulled away from Sam. "I..." He looked at Sam with his lip between his teeth. "You swear you won't leave?"

Sam nodded. "I swear, Dean. I will stay in this room with you. I will not leave you."

"You want to be normal, though."

Sam grimaced. "I did, yes." He leaned forward so his forearms rested on his thighs. "Thing is...We're not going to be normal because normal..." Sam sighed. "Normal doesn't exist like I thought it did."

"Oh."

Sam clasped his hands together. "Just tell me, Dean. I promise I won't be mad at you."

Dean squirmed around on the bed until he was facing the TV so Sam was looking at his profile. "I...uh, I sucked a couple of guys off for money."

Sam stared.

Dean hunched over his drawn up knees and put his chin on top. "I...lied about my age to this guy and got into a film thing. I made enough in two days to get you started into a decent college." He squinted at the TV. "I'm hoping you'll pick Washburn in Kansas. They've got a good law program and it'll be easier to get to you for visits and stuff." 

Sam kept staring.

Dean looked down at his knees. "I figure three more films and I'll have made enough for your textbooks for the first year and..."

"Stop."

Dean snapped his mouth shut and held still.

Sam reached over and rested his hand on Dean's shoulder blade. He could feel the tension vibrating through Dean's body. "Films?"

Dean pushed himself away across the bed and turned to face Sam. "You need me to spell it out, Sammy?" He spread his arms. "Or did you want a demonstration?"

Sam shook his head. "No, Dean...just, did Dad have any..."

Dean snorted, shook his head once, and crossed his arms. "Dad doesn't care about me, Sammy. I know I tell you he does, but you miss the silent 'just you' at the end of those sentences." He looked around their room. "I've known for a long time, Sam." He pointed at himself. "This is just a body. Not me." He tapped the side of his head. "I'm me, inside here."

Sam nodded. "Okay." He flopped back on his bed. "I...admit I wasn't expecting that one."

"Seriously? You never even had a clue?"

Sam thought back on it. "I believed you when you said you were fixing cars. You were always awesome at anything to do with a car. I didn't know how much people made from that and I didn't really think about it." He covered his face with his arm. "I should have noticed."

"Screw that."

Sam turned his head and peered at Dean from under his arm. "What?"

Dean pointed at Sam. "I didn't want you to know. You were always busy with school stuff."

Sam grunted and turned his head back into the darkness of his arm across his face.

****

Sam kept himself awake that night. He watched as Dean aged fast for about an hour between two and three in the morning. Once Dean was his eighteen year old self, Sam retucked the covers around Dean and went to sleep.

Sam woke up to Dean kneeling over him, pinning him down. "Morning to you too, Dean."

Dean cocked his head and stared down at Sam. "You didn't leave."

Sam rubbed at one eye. "Of course not. I said I wasn't leaving you."

"You're going to though." Dean knelt back and relaxed his hands on his thighs. "I see you watching the mail. You stuck your tongue out at me about Washburn, so I know you've applied to all the coast schools." He ran his fingertips up and down his inner thighs. "It is going to be expensive, isn't it?"

"I got a full ride." Sam's eyebrows drew together and he laid one of his hands on Dean's knee. "I'm sorry, Dean. If I had known..."

Dean leaned forward and pressed his fists into Sam's chest. "No. You go. I'll be proud of you, Sammy."

Sam drew Dean down against his chest into a tight hug. "Thanks, Dean."

****

The next morning Dean sat on the edge of his bed staring down at his toes as he wiggled them. "Why did he do that to me, Cas?"

Castiel sat beside Dean watching Sam sleep. "He believed that he was teaching Sam something important."

Dean frowned. "By making me spill secrets that Sam did _not_ need to know?"

Sam rolled onto his back. "Maybe because Gabriel knew I did need to know them."

Dean rubbed at his eyebrow with his thumb. "No, no, you didn't."

Sam looked at Cas. "Could you go get us some breakfast, please, Cas?"

Castiel nodded and disappeared.

Dean flopped backwards on his bed as Sam sat up. "Don't start on me, Sam."

"Sure." Sam put his feet on the floor and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm just going to sit here until you tell me why you never said anything before."

Dean put his fist against his forehead and lightly tapped himself with it. "Sam..."

"No, Dean. Don't try to brush this off. You wolf down food even now so don't tell me it is in the past and it doesn't matter."

"You ever think maybe I didn't want you to know?"

"I got that from the part where I didn't know until now." Sam scrubbed his hand across his face. "Dean..."

"Just stop, Sam." Dean sat up and turned towards Sam. "I'm fucked up. I get that, thanks."

"That isn't what..." Sam crossed to Dean's bed and tackled Dean down onto the bed. "Listen to me, Dean. I am so proud of you."

Dean blinked. "What?"

"Yeah, proud." Sam knelt over Dean and started searching Dean's skin. "You are the bravest person I know. And where did you cut yourself at?"

Dean squirmed out from under Sam. "They are gone."

"What?"

Dean rubbed at the crease where his thigh met his body. "When Cas got me out he erased most all of my scars."

"Oh."

Dean pulled his boxers out of the way. "They were here." He made a movement with his fingernail to bring up a little red welt. Dean frowned down at his skin. "I miss them sometimes."

Sam touched Dean's elbow. "I never caught you doing that to yourself."

"You were usually asleep." Dean looked at Sam. "You aren't telling me how fucked up I am." He narrowed his eyes. "You aren't possessed, are you?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "No, Dean. I am not possessed. Cas would have said something." He crossed his legs under himself. "Dean, I'm s..."

"Don't you dare."

Sam snapped his mouth shut.

Dean leaned towards Sam. "Don't you dare say 'sorry' like I should have allowed you to be harmed."

"You..."

Dean held up his hand. "Stop. Don't feel sorry for me either."

Sam grabbed Dean's hand. "Listen. I would never have wanted you to do all of that just for me." 

"No shit."

Sam took a deep breath. "Stop being defensive for five seconds." He waited until Dean slumped. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. I wish you hadn't had to, but I'm grateful you did."

Dean sat there blinking and breathing for a few minutes. "Oh."

Sam smiled with tears in his eyes and he pulled Dean into a tight hug. He thumped Dean on the back. "What sort of porn was it?"

Dean barked out a laugh that hitched once. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

****


	2. First of Dean's Porn Jobs

****

Dean frowned down at himself. "Won't I be too slippery?"

The set helper smoothed more lotion into Dean's legs. "Nah. This just hides any little spots and stuff."

"Okay." Dean looked around at the other men getting ready. 

The set was minimal. A plain room with a sling-like harness thing in the middle of the room. Lots of lights set up all around. They lead Dean to the harness.

The set helper put down a step stool. "Okay, step up and turn around."

Dean pushed down his nervousness, telling himself that this was nothing compared to hunting, and let them strap him into the harness. It held him on his back with his legs spread wide, his arms wrapped in webbing above his head. The various straps kept his body laid open. 

The set helper stood between Dean's spread legs as he looked down at a clipboard. "Now, you are condoms only, right?"

Dean bit the inside of his cheek as he nodded. "Yes."

"How do you feel about a cock ring?"

With a blink, Dean made himself relaxed. "Sure." He smiled. "Why not?"

"Great." It took a few minutes to get Dean's cock to harden and the cockring in place.

Dean could feel himself becoming more nervous. He focused on the new sensation of the cockring and the heaviness of his prick against his lower belly. The lights on him were hot enough to keep him from feeling too cold as he waited for them to sort out who was going to fuck Dean.

The man stepped up and rubbed his thumb across the head of Dean's cock. He smiled at Dean and rolled a condom onto his own shaft. "They said you were new."

"Yeah."

The guy nodded. "Pleased to met you. I'm Richard."

Dean wiggled his hands in the webbing. "Dean."

Richard ran his hands down the backs of Dean's thighs. "Cool name. You stretched already?"

The set helper appeared at Richard's elbow. "His first time."

Richard's eyebrows came together. "You agree to a gangbang first time out?"

Dean shrugged as best he could from his position. "Money is good."

"Huh." Richard looked at the set helper. "You gave him something, right?"

The set helper held up a pill. "Doing it now." He looked at Dean. "Take this."

Dean didn't protest or ask what the pill would do, he just swallowed. He flinched slightly as Richard started pressing lube into his ass with the flat of his fingers. Dean closed his eyes against the sight of a cameraman dispassionately filming from near his shoulder.

Richard petted Dean's cock as he spread Dean on the fingers of his other hand.

Dean could feel the drug take affect as his body disconnect from him. He floated as the lights got hotter and his body started to swaying. Dean tilted his head to watch Richard fuck him.

It was hard, slick, and fast. Dean tried to find his hands so he could jack off to relieve the pressure inside himself, but Dean couldn't figure out where his hands were. Richard pulled out, stripped off the condom and streaked Dean's belly with his cum.

Dean tried to ask for something, but his train of thought was shattered as another dick pressed into him. Dean blinked at the black man standing there with his hands on Dean's ribs. Dean let his eyes flutter closed as the sensations melted into him, gripping his insides, and twisting him up tight.

There were more men, more cum across Dean's belly, and Dean lost track of the number. He whimpered as they added more lube to the mix. The cold shock of it took the fuzziness of the drug down a notch and Dean opened his eyes to watch a thin white man squeeze Dean's cock in time to his thrusts into Dean's ass.

Dean grunted when the man stopped to climax across Dean's stomach. Then someone was striking the bottoms of his feet with a little stick. It brought Dean back into his body with a harsh crash. He gasped as the next man to fuck him used Dean's feet to swing his body into the motion of the man's hips.

Then they all quit touching him and Dean squirmed. He needed someone to touch his cock, to touch him. Dean could hear himself begging with broken pleas, but no one came back until suddenly he was shifted. He was being lowered onto someone's cock.

Dean moaned at the wonderful fulness and then grimaced as another dick pressed in beside the first one. Dean's mouth was invaded by sticky fingers and Dean pushed at them with his tongue as his body twitched apart from the sensation of being forced to take so much at once.

****


	3. Dean doesn't want to talk about it

****

Dean wasn't really surprised to find that Sam had looked up the porn. "Dude, what the fuck?"

Sam frowned up at him. "You were clearly underage."

"Please tell me you didn't actually watch it. I haven't even watched it." Dean settled across from Sam as the little motel table so that he couldn't see the screen of Sam's laptop. He pushed Sam's coffee across the table.

Sam made a face at him. "I didn't watch it. I read the description and cast list."

Dean shook his head. "Jeez, Sammy."

"I just..." Sam closed the laptop as he wiped his hand down his face. "Look, Dean. I know you don't want to talk about things, but I feel like..." Sam took a drink of his coffee. "I feel like if I'd just known it would have been easier on you."

"Oh, like you wouldn't have used it against me when you were mad or something." Dean kicked his feet up on the end of the nearest bed. "Just let it go."

Sam shook his head. "How many did you do?"

Dean shrugged. "Four." He propped his chin on his hand. "Want me to tell you how often I was drugged for it?"

With a sigh, Sam opened his computer back up. "No, Dean." He opened another tab and went looking for the other ones. "You know names or anything?"

"Why are you looking up the porn I did, Sam? You got a fetish I don't want to know about?"

"No." Sam looked at Dean. "You talk in your sleep now. Sometimes." He fiddled with his coffee cup. "I'd rather not have half-sentences filtered through your Hell dreams with no context if I don't have to, okay?"

Dean jerked and frowned at his feet. "Hell dreams?"

Sam shrugged. "Cas watches you and you don't dream. If he isn't here you even wake yourself up sometimes. You never acknowledge remembering those moments of wakefulness later, so I don't think you really wake up."

Dean leaned his head back. "And that has to do with my stupid pornos, how exactly?"

"You beg, Dean." Sam grabbed at Dean's arm as he started to stand up. "You cry and beg for it to stop or keep going. You sometimes hump the mattress and cry, Dean."

With a wrench, Dean pulled away from Sam and retreated across the room. "Shut up, Sam."

Sam followed him and cornered him next to the bathroom. "No. Dean, I don't want to hurt you more, but I want to be able to wake you up. Should I call Cas or maybe Gabriel for help instead of trying to help you myself?"

Dean leaned his forehead against the wall. "You could just leave it the hell alone, Sammy."

Sam gently wrapped Dean in a hug from behind. "No. It is eating you up, Dean."

*****

Gabriel sat down inside Dean's dream. "Why did you call me in your sleep, Dean?"

Dean paced in front of him, naked except for several bits of rope trailing from his wrists, torso, and one around his neck. "Why did you have to make me tell Sam?"

"I didn't make you tell him anything." Gabriel slowly reshaped the ground under them into a soft carpet that couldn't tear up Dean's feet. "Your younger selves told him."

"I..." Dean stopped short and turned to stare at Gabriel. "Why would I _do_ that?"

Gabriel eased the ropes out of the dream. "You were hurt in Hell, Dean. Castiel brought you back. He healed your body, but you are human." Gabriel spread his hands. "If there is one thing I've learned about humans is that your minds injury you far more when nothing else is wrong, but you've been hurt and it knows it."

Dean blinked. "I don't really remember it."

"Yes, you do."

Dean slid down until he was kneeling in the plush carpet. "I don't want to." Dean rubbed his palms across the carpet. "Why is this soft?"

Gabriel knelt beside him and pulled Dean slowly into a hug while he deepened Dean's sleep. "You deserve comfort."

*****

Castiel stood beside Gabriel on the tree branch of the huge pine behind the Winchesters' motel. "Are you alright?"

Gabriel nodded. "He deserves a reward, you know?"

"I have attempted to ease his discomfort, but I have only made him angry."

"He'll probably be angry with me if he allows himself to remember it in the morning." Gabriel looked down at the back of his hand. "You and Dean are meshing in places."

"I fear I am not a proper angel any longer."

Gabriel wrapped his wing around Castiel's back. "Hey, proper isn't always the answer." He leaned lightly against Castiel's side. "What's your vessel say about you and the Righteous Man bonding like you have?"

Castiel blinked. "He asks me odd questions about feelings I do not quite understand. He thinks it is funny when his body reacts in ways I do not expect to my feelings."

"Glad to know he's taking it well." Gabriel slid his arm around Castiel's back, below his wing. "Thanks for talking to me, brother."

"You are welcome." Castiel felt contentment flood him and frowned as he felt the urge to sleep. "Gab..."

Gabriel peeked down at Castiel's head on his shoulder as the angel slept. "Sleep, Cas. You look like you need it."

*****

Sam started when Gabriel appeared in the middle of their room with Castiel sleeping against his side. Sam threw the covers off his legs and went to help Gabriel. "What..."

"Hush." Gabriel frowned as Cas stirred before settling back down as they laid him next to Dean on his bed. "Okay, now he's down for the night."

"Why is he sleeping?" Sam frowned at Gabriel as he moved around the walls of their room. "Did you do something to him?"

Gabriel gave him a look of contempt as he moved his hand over one of the walls. "No, I didn't _do_ anything to him. He's just burning through energy faster than he produces it naturally."

"Oh." Sam sat on the edge of his bed. "Wow, look at that. Dean quit dreaming, I think."

"Yep." Gabriel dropped to sit next to Sam. "He's not dreaming since we put Castiel on the bed with him."

"They are..." Sam made a hand gesture and pressed his lips together.

"What? Sexually attached? No." Gabriel laid back on the bed and put his feet against the side of Dean's bed. "They are bonding."

"Uhm. Okay?"

He turned his head to look at Sam. "It just means they are bonding. Sex isn't required for a bond. They'll touch. Stare at each other a lot." He looked back up at the ceiling. "They are going to fall apart when one of them dies."

Sam flopped back to lay with his legs dangle off the side of his bed. "Great."

"It's awesome actually." Gabriel clasped his hands across his stomach. "You find all your brother's porn videos yet?"

"Fuck." Sam popped back upright and ran his hands through his hair. "Gabriel."

"What?" Gabriel rolled off the bed and went to Sam's computer. "Here." He snapped at the computer before Sam could say anything.

"Don't...Never mind." Sam came over to the table and pulled his laptop to himself. "Where did you...Oh, found them." He looked at Gabriel. "Why are you being helpful?"

"Dean reminds me of someone." Gabriel shrugged. "I can't heal the someone, but I can help heal Dean." He lifted his chin at Castiel on the bed. "Plus, a more stable Dean means a better feeling bond for Cas. He's my brother."

"Oh." Sam nodded at the files. "Dean doesn't want me to watch, but I feel like I need to."

Gabriel leaned over and looked at the folder. "They'll just upset you that he allowed himself to be treated that way."

"I know that."

Gabriel cocked his head. "Don't turn the sound on and start with that one." He pointed. "It is the worse looking one."

Sam clicked the file.

****


	4. Dean's second Porn Job

****

The next day from the first film, Dean showed back up to the set. He was sore, and starting to sport bruises along his hips and arms. His feet hurt like a bitch. Dean sat gingerly down and watched as they set up some sort of weird bench thing next to a little cage.

Dean didn't see anyone he recognized from the day before, even the set helper was a different person. Dean took the pills handed to him, slipped on the steel cockring with a ball separator attached, and then jacked himself into hardness.

They had him stand up and a tiny woman wrapped smooth rope around him. She bound his arms to his sides and his hands behind his back. Then she disappeared and the set helper smoothed something across Dean's sore asshole and it went numb.

Dean started to feel that disconnect from his body as they had him kneel in front of the little cage. He leaned away from it.

A man holding a cat-o'-nine tails knelt next to him. "Hey, don't panic. You aren't going in it. I promise. It is just a prop, okay? A prop."

Dean blinked and nodded slightly. Then the man stood up and the lights went brighter. Dean swayed with the tickling hits along his ass and the backs of his thighs. It felt good, made a huge amount of noise, but Dean couldn't focus on that as his cock became so hard it started to hurt deep in Dean's belly.

He was pulled up and Dean stumbled a few steps to a bench. He laid down on his belly and sighed as a cold dildo slowly slid through the numb part of him into his hot core. Dean squirmed at the weird feel of it and his feet were pulled out from under him so that he was resting on his belly on the bench.

A chain wrapped itself around each ankle and then Dean couldn't feel where his feet where because they were flying. Dean smiled at the thought of his feet flying without him. The coldness moved in him and Dean gasped.

"Good boy."

Dean shivered as the dildo disappeared. Then a double bluntness pressed against the numbness and started to push in. Dean craned his neck around to watch from the corner of his eye as the man with a strap-on dildo fucked into him.

Turning back, Dean rested his forehead on the bench as the man pressed the heels of his hands into Dean's shoulder blades. Dean sucked in a breath and whimpered as the numbness started to fade into a painful sort of pleasure. 

The fucking went on and on as Dean lay there panting. The man finally pulled out and plunged his fingers into Dean. The fuzziness was gone in an instant as the man curled his fingers and a jolt shot through Dean's body.

Then there were more fingers and the man was whispering in Dean's ear as he kept pushing, pushing, and then Dean felt hallow as the man pulled away. He came back with slicker fingers and went back to pressing into Dean. With a wiggle, Dean tried to make the feelings settle, but the man put his hand on Dean's lower back and _shoved_ with the other hand.

Dean could feel tears seeping down his face as the man wiggled his hand, moving it back and forth in tiny jerky moves. Dean gasped for air as the movements changed to more rocking in and out. Then the man pushed back in and curled his fingers up into a fist.

Dean giggled as his brain caught up to the fact he was being fisted. He tried to move his knees, but someone had strapped him down. The fist in him started to twist around and Dean could feel his mouth drop open as he moaned.

The man started to fuck him slow and easy with his fist as Dean cried and tried to get some friction on his aching cock. The fucking sped up and deepened as Dean went boneless from the sensations overwhelming his body.

Dean could hear the noise his body made as the man pulled out of him. Then the man's cock was back and he was coming across Dean's gaping hole. Dean tried to twist away from it, but he had no control as the man thumbed the head of Dean's cock.

"We aren't done with you yet, are we, boy?"

Dean whimpered and shivered as they moved him around.

****

"Okay, prepped for scene two. You can't tear skin, alright?"

The man's voice was off to Dean's left somewhere. "No problem. He's so responsive."

"Yeah, submits beautifully."

Dean blinked at the lights above him. He focused on his body's position. They had him on his back, with some sort of padding under him to keep his weight off his bound arms. Dean lifted his head and looked down himself at his feet strapped into stirrups.

The man petted his hair. "Hey, ready to go again?"

Dean just nodded and accepted another pill from the set helper. He trembled as the man pressed a plug into his ass. Then the man fondled his balls and started putting clothespins on bits of his skin.

Dean sucked in a sharp breath as a clothespin pinched the skin of his scrotum.

"Oh, look at you." The man rubbed at Dean's collarbone. "You really like a little pain, don't you?"

Dean could feel himself blushing along his shoulders and up his neck. The little blooms of pain traveled along his cock, then down his inner thighs, and one appeared on his right upper arm. Dean started to float again.

He hummed happily as the man made his body disconnect from him more. The pain mixed with the sensations of petting and licking as the man did things to Dean's far off body. Then the man squirted something cool down into Dean's prick.

Dean lifted his head to look because that had jolted him back into himself. The man held Dean's cock firmly as he slid a sound down into Dean. Dean blinked as the sensations hit him.

"Ooooh."

The man looked up at him and smiled as he rotated the sound. "Good, huh?"

Dean let his head thump against the bench as he lost himself in the newness of the feelings. Then the plug was slid out and a dildo pressed into Dean's ass. Dean arched hard as the dildo turned out to be a vibrator. Dean stayed in the arch as he gasped.

The buzz of vibrations made the whole sound dance in him and Dean groaned at the feel. Then the spots of pain exploded as the clothespins were yanked off. Dean hitched his hips in little hard movements as his body chased more of the awesome pleasurable pain of it all.

Dean felt the man's hand wrap around his neck and he pressed up into the hold as he orgasmed.

****


	5. Dean still doesn't want to talk

****

Sam turned to look at Dean when the scene was done. Dean was still sleeping. He had rolled onto his side to snuggle closer to Castiel. Sam turned towards Gabriel. "You said sex wasn't required for a bond."

"It isn't." Gabriel leaned back in his chair and adjusted the bed to better support Dean and Castiel. "They probably won't ever have sex. They'll be more intimate."

"That's okay with...God?" 

Gabriel shrugged. "The Bible isn't all correct anymore, you know. Translation errors, total rewrites, and greedy little assholes have twisted it out of shape." He looked at Sam. "He's fine with it."

"Uh, okay." Sam bit his lip. "What happens if one of them is sexually attracted to someone outside of the bond they share?"

Gabriel scratched the side of his head. "As long as the other person understood they weren't in the bond and that it was there, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Huh." Sam yawned. "Sorry, Gabe. I'd stay up with you, but I need to sleep."

Gabriel missed Sam saying good night because he was stuck at being called a nickname. "Awesome. I am so screwed. Surrounded with these crazy idiots."

****

Dean woke up to find himself most under one flap of Castiel's trench coat. "Cas?" He eased back to find Cas was asleep beside him. Dean blinked and rubbed at his eyes as he sat up.

Sam was cleaning weapons and smiled at him. "Hey. There's food in the fridge. Gabe said we might try to get Cas to eat something."

"Gabe?" Dean rubbed the sides of his face and threw back the covers. "When did you start that?"

"When he warded the room from everything I've ever heard of and then some."

"You asked him to do that?"

Sam shook his head. "He just did it without prompting." Sam held up a towel. "He added a never-ending towel rack and is currently taking a shower."

Dean turned his head towards the closed bathroom door. "I don't hear anything."

"Crack the door open and it is a totally different story."

"Oh, hell no." Dean pulled a plate from the fridge and frowned down at it. "Is the fridge not working? This is hot."

"Gabe did something to the plates. They self heat."

Dean raised his eyebrows as he found a fork in the plate cover. "Did you tell him..."

"No." They looked at each other until Sam pointed at the bathroom. "He is an archangel, Dean. Do _you_ want to tell him to stop it?"

Dean shrugged. "You just say stop. Maybe add a please in there."

Gabriel settled into a chair that appeared just as he sat down. "What's the fun in that? Never ending hot water should at least earn me a thank you."

Dean clapped Gabriel on the shoulder as he headed for the bathroom. "Fine. Just no reading our minds or manhandling, Gabe."

Gabriel stared after Dean until the bathroom door closed. He turned towards Sam. "Is he awake yet?"

Sam smiled. "Probably not." He looked at Gabriel. "We can't repay you for all this."

"I didn't expect repayment." Gabriel touched the top of Dean's plate. "I wasn't even expecting a thank you."

Sam looked over at Castiel still snoring. "Well, thank you anyway."

****  
Cas snapped awake and frowned.

Dean leaned over him and grinned. "Hey, sleepyhead. Are you hungry?"

Cas sat up and smoothed his tie down. "No."

Gabriel pointed at him with a candy bar. "You should eat, bro."

Dean helped Cas get off the bed. "Maybe you should eat something, you know?"

Cas stared at Gabriel's wings for a moment before turning towards Sam. "Please inform them I do not need to eat."

Sam held up his hands. "Don't drag me into this."

Cas sat down at the room's table and ignored the food that appeared until he saw Dean looking at it. Cas pulled one of the rolls loose from its pile and held it out to Dean.

Gabriel nodded towards the food as Dean sat down next to Cas to eat his roll.

****

Gabriel eased Dean out of his dream and into a field Gabriel had loved in the middle ages. "You okay now?"

Dean blinked and sat down on the nearest rock. "Why am I yelling for you and not Cas when I dream?"

"You feel him deep inside yourself so your mind says he must be in here with you somewhere. Trapped like you feel. So you call me."

"Huh." Dean ran his palm over the tops of the poppies next to himself. "Sam said you said I remind you of someone." He looked at Gabriel until he nodded. "Who?"

Gabriel sighed and manifested a shadow of his wings. "Me." He pulled one of his wings forward and started straightening the feathers.

"I wondered." Dean started to reach for the wing and stopped short. "You killing me was just your way of punishing yourself."

"Yes, I'm not a nice angel, after all." Gabriel flexed the wing so it brushed Dean's outstretched fingers. "You can touch them."

Dean petted the feathers and frowned at the feel. "Are they supposed to be like that?"

"I haven't had anyone's help with them in a long time. Anyone I snap up just makes me feel more hallow than I already do."

"So, that's a no." Dean took a feather between his fingers and tried to smooth down the rough edges. "Could Cas help?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Probably. I don't want to make him feel like he has to help."

Dean nodded. "Is it something a human can't fix or is it just that I don't know what I'm doing?"

"A little of both." Gabriel eased his wing from Dean's hands and made the shadow hold color. "Can you see that better?"

"Oh." Dean nodded and then he grinned. "I like this dream a lot better."

****

Castiel sat down next to Gabriel as they watched the Impala roar down the road below them. "Why are you helping us?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Dean is a lot like me. Sam's a fucking prefect shadow of Luci before he went batshit insane. You are bleeding yourself dry for them. They are wrapped so tight in each other I don't think anyone can hold their love without burning. I'm intrigued."

"You recognize the bond between Dean and myself."

"I do." Gabriel looked down at his hands. "Dean is calling me into his dreams."

Castiel nodded. "He thinks of it as he drives."

"You eavesdrop even though they've told you not to?"

"So do you."

Gabriel smiled. "True." He twitched his wings. "You know we're probably going to die for them."

"Yes, I know."

They watched the Impala carry her boys down the road.

****


	6. Dean's third Porn Job

****

Dean knelt on his hands and knees, feeling a little silly as a man spanked him. The set wasn't ready yet, but the scene called for Dean to already be red and have handprints on his ass and thighs. Dean squirmed as the man hit on a sore spot.

"Okay, over onto your back."

Dean shifted position and held his breathe as the man brought his hand down across Dean's semi-limp cock. "Fuck."

Another set helper came by. "Looks great, Steve. Is he ready?"

Steve pulled Dean to his feet and gave Dean's cock a few pulls. Dean whimpered and leaned into Steve's chest. "Yeah, I think he's good to go."

Dean knelt where they told him and waited as they strapped a harness around him. Then he went where they said and let them pull him up into the air. He was on his back, his arms spread and his legs pulled wide with his knees bent.

Dean blinked in the brightness of the lights as they prepped his cock. Someone slid a sound into him and Dean started to pant. The hand strike on his cock was throbbing and the sound made him feel stuffed full.

Then the filming started and a gag was slipped into Dean's mouth. He found he needed it as a spiky tool was rolled across his skin. Over his scrotum. Dean arched and squirmed as they went over the soles of his feet.

Then someone feed a string of beads into Dean's ass. The beads were knobby and Dean canted his hips absently as the person thumbed the skin around Dean's hole. Then they were blindfolding him. 

Dean moaned as his body flared pleasure and pain in various places. He started to tear up as the beads were slowly pulled out of him. Then something cold pressed into him. Dean whimpered as his ass spread around the coldness as it expanded.

He felt fingers slipping in through the coldness and press into his insides. Dean felt something wrap around his neck and bite into his skin. Dean mewled as his body just loosened all over.

Fingers gripped his cock and jacked him around the sound, harsh movements that matched the pain that started stabbing him from his nipples. Dean tried to twist, but the pressure on his neck increased when he moved. 

Tears leaked out of his eyes and wet the hair at his temples. Dean could feel everything. His skin tingled where people were breathing on him. His prick was both throbbing and giving him too much pleasure. Dean's ass was stretched wide and his balls hurt from clothespins on him.

Dean tongued the gag in his mouth and made his hands form fists. Then someone pulled his fists apart one at a time and bound his fingers flat. They put rope between his toes and Dean started to sob as they added something to his nose.

It left him able to breathe through it, but it held the skin of his nostrils stretched. Dean felt someone trace his ribs slowly with their fingernails before his thigh was struck with an open hand. Dean jerked and started to cry out with each hit to his thighs.

They pulled off and replaced the clothespins on his scrotum. His ass was released from the stretch and someone began fucking him. Dean was pulled into each thrust by the sling he was strapped into. He moaned as the cock in him changed for a different size.

Dean drifted as the second person pinched his nose closed every few seconds. He came back as the next person touched a vibator to the tip of the sound as they fucked him. Dean's hips danced and his leaked cum out around the sound as they pressed the vibator to the base of his shaft.

The sound and the dick pulled out of him. Dean felt hallow until someone started to milk his shaft as they pressed fingertips into his prostate. Dean arched in his bounds and groaned as his body orgasmed without ejaculating.

More fingers jammed into his ass and Dean's prick felt huge as the pumping sped up. He spasmed as he came again, ejaculating weakly as they kept milking him. The gag was removed and then something blunt shoved into his mouth.

Dean sucked weakly on the cock in his mouth as they started pulling off the clothespins. He went limp as the man circled the head of his dick against the roof of Dean's mouth. They pulled out and splashed Dean's face with semen.

The blindfold was pulled away and Dean squinted as more men stood around his head, jerking off over him. Someone jacked Dean's cock hard, making Dean arch up into it as the men around him stripped him in their cum.

****


	7. Gabriel's turn for not talking

****

Gabriel settled beside Dean's twitching, sleeping body on the motel bed. Sam was starting to rouse on the other bed. With a snap, Gabriel changed the beds actually be comfortable. He added more warmth to the covers for Sam where he was cold.

Castiel settled on the other side of Dean and sat back against the headboard. "He is calling for you again."

Gabriel looked down at Dean twisting in his sleep. "You could go."

Cas held his hand to his chest. "I can feel his need for you, Gabriel. Do not attempt to deflect my attention."

"Right." Gabriel adjusted the wards to make them more invisible and expanded time for the Winchesters to be able to get enough sleep without actually losing that much time to the world. "I'm not trying to intrude."

"Dean and I are bonded, Gabriel, not mated."

Gabriel eased Dean over onto his belly and moved the covers so they weren't pressing into Dean's legs in a tangle. "He isn't my mate either, Cas."

"Go to him, please."

Gabriel went.

****

Dean's dream dissolved and he lay in a field next to a huge waterfall with no roar. He sat up and looked around. "Gabriel?"

"Here." Gabriel sat down next to him on a fallen log. "You were in deep in that one."

Dean rubbed the side of his head and turned so his back rested against Gabriel's legs. "I broke down there."

"They'd learned your weaknesses."

"What?"

Gabriel ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "They had time with your Dad before they got you. He wasn't a great parent, but he wasn't a total stranger to you either."

"Oh." Dean leaned his head into Gabriel's leg. "I hadn't thought about that. I thought I was just weak."

"Something you rarely are is weak, Dean." Gabriel moved them to a nice hotel room, onto a single bed.

Dean laughed. "You made the sheets with characters from all sorts of movies on them."

"I like them." Gabriel tucked Dean into the bed and stopped when Dean grabbed his wrist. "What?"

"Thank you for pulling me out of the nightmares."

Gabriel petted Dean's hair. "You aren't healing when I do this, you know."

Dean rolled onto his side and snuggled into Gabriel's hip. "I don't care."

"Sure you do." Gabriel put his hand on the handprint from Cas. "I could stay with you while your mind worked through it."

"No."

Gabriel stroked his thumb over Cas' handprint. "Cas could do it."

"Oh, no, no, no." Dean wrapped his hand around Gabriel's and pressed it into the handprint scar. "I am not making Cas do that."

"You wouldn't me making either of us do anything."

"Still." Dean touched his nose to Gabriel's inner forearm. "Stay while I sleep?"

"Of course." Gabriel soothed Dean into a deeper sleep.

****

Sam closed his laptop and sat watching his brother breathe. "I know you are there."

Gabriel appeared beside him. "Do you ever feel stupid when nothing is there?"

"Not usually." Sam lifted his chin towards Dean wrapped in Cas' embrace as they slept. "They sure look couple-like."

"It doesn't..." Gabriel looked at Sam. "You want to feel it, what they have? It isn't full power yet as they are still forming it."

"I...You could do that? Let me feel it?"

Gabriel grimaced. "Well, not their's exactly since we'd need their permission first and I figure your brother would be a giant pain in the ass about it."

Sam laughed. "He would be." He looked at Gabriel. "So who's bond would I be feeling?"

"Mine." Gabriel rubbed his fingertips across his thigh. "I'm bonded to Michael. Have been for a fucking long time."

"Oh." Sam covered his mouth with his hand. "Are you sure...No, don't answer that. That was a stupid question."

Gabriel smiled. "A little bit, but very human. You want to or not, Winchester?"

Sam nodded.

****

Gabriel pushed his way into Dean's dream and wrapped himself around Dean while he hung on the rack with a hook in one shoulder. "Sorry. You didn't call me, but I...Sorry."

Dean blinked as they reappeared in a forest clearing. He wrapped the arm that would work around Gabriel's shoulders as Gabriel buried his head in the crock of Dean's neck. "What? Gabe, what happened?"

Gabriel pressed closer and the trees walked in closer, forming a tight circle around them. "I thought I could and I couldn't...and it _hurt_ to remember it."

Dean petted Gabriel's shoulders, down his arms and rubbed at the back of Gabriel's neck. "Okay, it'll be okay."

****

Sam sat blinking as Cas crouched in front of him.

"What has happened, Sam?" Cas touched Sam's knee and brushed a tear off of Sam's cheek with his thumb. "Samuel?"

Sam shuddered and curled forward. "Cas?"

"Yes." Cas pulled Sam into a hug like he'd seen Dean do in the past. "Are you alright?"

Sam clutched at Cas' trench coat. "I...I don't know." He hid his face in Cas' lapel. "Gabriel showed me his bond, but it was cut and damaged. I think...I hurt him by touching it."

Cas went still. "You touched it?"

Sam nodded against Cas' shoulder. "He disappeared. Did I...hurt him?"

"No." Cas pushed Sam back so they could make eye contact. "Startled him, yes, but you could not hurt him, Sam."

"Dean feels you at a level below his waking awareness, doesn't he?"

"Yes, the bond is profound and fills the tears in each of us." Cas stroked his fingers down Sam's arm. "I lost much to gain Dean."

Sam nodded and pulled away completely. "I need to find a diner near here. He's going to be starving when he wakes up."

****

Dean watched over Gabriel as he slept in the forest clearing. The trees were still tightly ringed around them and Dean wasn't interested in leaving Gabriel vulnerable anyway. He drew in the dirt until he felt sleepy.

"Is it weird to feel sleepy when I'm already asleep?" Dean leaned his head on Gabriel's stomach and threw an arm over Gabriel's chest. "You are probably faking and silently laughing at me." He closed his eyes.

****


	8. Dean's fourth Porn Job

****

Dean shook his hands out as he waited. They were doing an orgy scene and Dean was supposed to bottom on a counter in a fake kitchen. A tall muscular guy was supposed to be his top. The red head came over and stood next to Dean.

He stuck his hand out. "Gabriel."

Dean shook hands with him. "Dean." He took a popper from the bowl being passed around and snorted it. "I can handle anything."

Gabriel nodded. "Okay." He popped a pill into his mouth and grinned at Dean. "I'll make it good for you."

Dean shrugged. "Sure, whatever." He jacked himself into half-hardness. "Just don't dump me on the floor, it looks nasty."

Dean let the drugs in his system take him away as they lay in their positions waiting for the cameramen to get set. When they called for them to start, Dean spread his knees as he pulled them up to his chest.

Gabriel worked lube into him as he sucked at Dean's cock. Dean panted as the feelings intensified, the annoyances like the hardness of the counter under his back faded and the pleasures took more of Dean's attention.

Gabriel eased into Dean's body and Dean blinked at the ceiling as the feeling of being entered filled Dean with a glorious feeling of fullness instead of the slightly dirty feeling he was used to. Then Gabriel's fingers wrapped around the head of Dean's cock and he bucked up into the feel.

"Oh." Dean spread himself wider and reveled in the feel of their fucking. The pleasure was intense and all encompassing. Gabriel tweaked Dean's nipples and Dean moaned at the prefect blend of pain into the pleasure. He wrapped one of his legs around Gabriel's back and rocked into his strokes.

Gabriel hammered into Dean over and over, for far longer than Dean had ever experienced before. Dean clutched at Gabriel's shoulder with one hand and pressed them together to get his cock against Gabriel's belly.

"Oh, no, not yet." Gabriel pulled out and with deft movements flipped Dean over onto his stomach, his toes barely touching the floor. He pulled Dean away from the cabinets enough that Dean's cock wasn't touching anything and then plunged back into Dean's ass.

Dean whimpered and grabbed the edge of the counter to give himself leverage to push into Gabriel's fucking. The pleasure ramped up as Gabriel wrapped a hand around the front of Dean's throat and gently pulled his head backwards. 

Dean reached back to grab Gabriel's asscheek to take the pressure off his neck, but hold him in the arched position that had Gabriel thrusting fiercely against his prostate. Dean groaned as Gabriel pressed his fingertips into Dean's collarbone. 

Dean forgot about the lights and the other people as he wallowed in the painful pleasure Gabriel was giving him. Dean's cock bobbed with their movements until Gabriel's hand moved from Dean's hip to his prick.

Dean moaned as Gabriel squeezed him firmly. He pulled Gabriel in tight against his ass and rolled his hips. Gabriel moaned in his ear and bit him on the shoulder.

"Bite him more."

Dean didn't even lose focus at the order. Gabriel bit his neck and Dean lolled his head towards Gabriel's thumb as the man left toothmarks across the top of Dean's shoulder. Gabriel worked his thrusts into long strokes again as Dean orgamsed without ejaculating.

Gabriel murmured in Dean's ear and sped up his thrusts. Dean felt filled, held, and protected. It made him tear up as Gabriel jacked him in time with the slap of his skin on Dean's ass. Then Dean trembled as he came again, spilling over Gabriel's hand.

****


	9. Dean talks, but Sam wishes he didn't

****

Dean came to still in the forest clearing in his head. "Great, I'm trapped."

Gabriel petted his hair. "No, you aren't."

"Oh, good." Dean sat up and leaned against Gabriel's side. "Why did you give me your actual name that day?"

"Which day?"

"The day you were taller and had a huge fucking dick."

Gabriel grinned. "I still have a huge dick."

Dean snorted. "Tell me why."

"You thought it was the popper, what made you change your mind?"

"It was too prefect for drugs. It was..." Dean frowned. "In Hell they fucked me."

"Raped."

Dean flapped his hand. "Whatever. They did it, okay? And it was twisted, but prefect in a sick sort of way. It pressed stuff in me I didn't even know about. It reminded me of the perfection that day."

Gabriel nodded.

Dean took a deep breath. "I didn't love sex until you. It was just a thing to make me money." He cocked his head. "Or practice, but it didn't...You made it glorious. So, why?"

"You prayed without words to anything not evil that would listen and help you without hurting your family. Not you, just your family." Gabriel ran his fingertips over his knee. "I just answered your prayer and I looked at all of you."

Dean frowned at his hands.

"I found you not only righteous, but in a crappy situation. I did what I could and I gave you my name so you could call for me if you needed to." He stood up. "You are stubborn, even for a Winchester."

Dean stood up and followed Gabriel towards the trees. "Could you still do that? Make it prefect like that?"

Gabriel raised his eyebrow. "Sure."

Dean nodded as the trees moved out of their path.

****

Sam watched Dean eat with an ease to his posture that normally wasn't there during meals. "Are you okay?"

"Sure, Sammy." Dean grinned at him with a full mouth of food. "You watch the porn yet?"

Their waitress turned right around without asking if they needed anything. 

Sam tried to force himself not to blush. "Dean!"

"What?" Dean watched their waitress walk away. "She'll be back. You didn't need anything anyway."

Sam shook his head. "Yes, okay? Yes, I watched them."

Dean nodded. "Find any kinks you liked?"

"Dean." Sam rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe you just...How drugged were you?"

"Depends which one we're talking about." Dean shallowed his food and took another huge bite. "You really want to know?"

Sam shook his head. "Never mind."

Dean just grinned.

****

Cas settled next to Gabe across in the backseat of the Impala as Dean teased Sam about his kinks as they drove down the road. The brothers couldn't perceive the angels. "Dean is more settled."

"Told you it'd help, Cas."

"Indeed." He looked at their bonds. "When will you tell Samuel you've rebonded?"

Gabe smiled. "When you tell him you're thinking about mates."

Cas adjusted his trench coat. "Jimmy is laughing at me."

"You deserve it." Gabe slung his arm around Cas' shoulders. "We're going to rewrite the story, bro. It is going to be awesome."

Cas smiled and made them visible to the brothers. Gabe laughed as Dean swerved a a couple of feet in surprise.

****

Sam led them into Bobby's house and grinned at Bobby's shock over Gabriel standing in his kitchen. He and Dean exchanged looks when Bobby slapped Gabriel upside the head.

"You idjit."

Gabriel rubbed his head and stared at Bobby. "Excuse me?"

Bobby pointed at Cas. "He needs more help than one angel turned Trickster that I am disinclined to even trust."

"If I could find him our Father, then I would." Gabriel spread his hands. "I'm just an archangel coupled with being a minor god. If I go up against Luci I'll probably die."

Blinking, Bobby stepped back. "Why do you think you'll die?"

Gabriel sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. "I've sparred with them before. Mikey can take Luci. I can take Raphael. On a great day I could maybe take Luci." He gestured to himself. "This? This is not a great day, Singer."

"Oh." Bobby frowned and left the kitchen.

****

Gabriel found Dean out in Singer's junkyard. "What are you doing?"

Dean pulled the alternator from the car he was working on. "Pulling parts for Bobby." He looked up at Gabriel. "Making myself tired."

Gabriel peered into the car as Dean went back to work. "It'll make your dreams stronger if you are tired."

Dean shrugged as he wiped off his hands. "I was thinking about that." He leaned against the side of the car. "You said pulling me out doesn't heal me. What about letting it go on?"

Gabriel straightened up. "What?"

Dean bit his lip as he looked down at the toes of his boots. "Does it heal me to let it happen in the dreams?"

"Not instantly." Gabriel leaned against the car across from Dean. "It'll take time."

"And if you fuck me in the dream?"

"What?" Gabriel stared at him. "You..." He stopped and cocked his head. "It won't stop the dreams."

"I didn't think it would, but I'd heal faster, right?"

Gabriel blinked. "Probably."

Dean nodded and looked towards the house. "We started something we have to finish and I can't be weaker than I have to be. I need to heal so I can support Sammy. He's not used to being alone in anything."

Gabriel watched Dean as he pushed away from the wreck of a car he'd been taking parts from. "I'll be me. I won't look like a demon."

Dean nodded. "Good."

****


	10. Dean's dream sex

****

Gabriel slid into Dean's dream and just watched for a moment while Dean's dream had demons stringing Dean up by a hook in the shoulder. Dean was crying as his clothes were melted off of him. Gabriel waited until Dean was being approached by a demon to freeze the dream.

He approached and wrapped his hand around Dean's arm over Cas' handprint that Dean was wearing even in the dream. "Dean."

Dean opened his eyes and grinned painfully. "Gabe."

"Yeah." Gabriel eased Dean's weight so he wasn't resting on the hook in his shoulder. "You still want to do this here?"

Dean flicked his eyes around the dream-Hell. "We're not there, right? We're in my mind?"

"Your dream. We're in your mind."

Dean nodded. "Don't take me down. They fucked me just like this."

Gabriel refrained from correcting Dean over the fuck vs rape usage. He stepped in close and ran his fingertips over Dean's slashed belly. "Let's make it less painful, okay?"

"Yes." Dean blinked and looked down at Gabriel with bleary eyes as the major injuries disappeared. "Hey, my shoulder isn't hurting."

Gabriel nodded. "I know. You want anything else changed, Dean?"

Dean ran the fingers of his free arm through Gabriel's hair. "I'm good. You okay?"

"I'm fine." Gabriel eased the dream around until Dean was a comfortable as Gabriel thought he could make him without breaking the dream apart. He wrapped his fingers around Dean's cock. 

Dean bucked his hips into the hold and he whined. Gabriel eased the height difference and settled Dean so he was resting against Gabriel's chest. 

Dean wrapped his usable arm around Gabriel's neck. "Fuck me."

Gabriel stilled Dean's voice and eased his way into Dean's body. The dream shivered around them and Gabriel feed a little pain into the pleasure until the dream stabilized. Gabriel pulled Dean's head back by his hair as he thrust into Dean's body.

Dean wrapped his legs around Gabriel's body as he fucked himself on Gabriel's cock. 

Gabriel kept pressing pleasure deeper into Dean's body as the dream shifted. Dean trembled and his breathing hitched. Gabriel flashed the hook in Dean's shoulder cold and Dean moaned as Gabriel released his hold on Dean's voice.

He fucked Dean harder as Dean's dream added injuries to Dean. Bites and scratches along his torso, down his back, and across his genitals. Gabriel made as many into pleasure instead of pain as he could without breaking the dream.

Dean mewled as they slammed together again and again. Gabriel carefully laid his hand inside of Cas' handprint and branded Dean's pleasure into pain. Dean froze as he orgasmed, the dream dissolving around them.

Gabriel shifted the pain to pleasure and flooded it as deep into Dean as he could. He buried himself in Dean and came hard.

****


	11. Talks all around

****

Dean woke up with that heavy peaceful feeling he could barely remember from before going to Hell. "Wow."

Gabriel was sitting beside him reading a book. "Yeah. I know." He put the book down. "You feel okay?"

Dean ran his fingertips across the sensitive skin of Cas' handprint, feeling a smaller hand inside the raised area. "That was...I was on a hook?"

Gabriel pressed a fingertip to the spot on Dean's chest. "Yep, through here. You were hanging by it."

"Huh." Dean patted Gabriel's knee. "Can we do it again?"

With a laugh, Gabriel eased down beside Dean. "How about we feed you right now instead?"

Dean stomach rumbled. "Good idea." He sat up and frowned down at Gabriel. "I feel really good. Why do you look like someone kicked you in the nuts?"

Gabriel sat up. "It has nothing to do with you. I was thinking about something else."

"Sure." Dean watched him for another moment and then he stood up. "Let's go see what's for breakfast."

"Lunch."

Dean gave him a look. "I don't care if it is evening, first meal I have a day is breakfast."

Gabriel followed him out of the room. "Sure, Dean, whatever."

****

Sam across from Dean as he ate. One on side of them Cas was poking his pancakes and frowning. On the other Gabe was smothering his pancakes in honey.

Bobby leaned against the kitchen counter and drank his coffee. "You going to eat anytime soon, Sam?"

Sam looked down at his untouched plate. "Uh, yeah." He took a bite and looked from Gabe to Dean. "You okay?"

Dean pointed at him with his fork. "I am awesome."

Bobby and Sam exchanged looks. Gabe smiled and took a bite of his pancake. "Cas, you okay there, bro?"

Cas frowned at his plate. "Is there a reason for this sticky sauce?"

Dean smiled at Cas. "Most humans like the sweetness of it."

"Ah." Cas pushed his plate towards Dean. "I am not human."

Sam shook his head and watched as Dean passed the plate to Bobby without eating it.

****

Sam found Gabriel near the Impala, sitting on the hood of a rusting Ford. "Thanks."

"What for, Sasquatch?"

Sam leaned against the Ford and gestured back towards the house. "Dean didn't feel the compulsion to finish Cas' food. He just passed that plate right on."

Gabriel nodded. "He isn't fixable like a squeaky hinge, you know."

"Yeah, but improvement is just that, improvement." Sam crossed his arms. "Is there any way to stop the end of the world without getting somebody killed?"

"We'll just have to see." Gabriel slid off the Ford. "Come on. They'll be looking for us any minute. Like they think I'm a bad influence or something."

Sam barked out a laugh as they headed back into the house.

****

Dean sat down next to Cas as he looked through another of Bobby's books. "You can feel it, can't you?"

Cas shut the book and placed it back on its pile. "Feel what, Dean?"

"His handprint inside yours on me."

"Ah." Cas nodded and looked at Dean. "I am happy you have found each other in this way, Dean." He touched the shoulder that bore his handprint. "It doesn't lessen our bond. It strengthens you and Gabriel both."

Dean leaned into Cas' touch. "I, ah, wondered if you know if he's got a bond like ours?"

Cas stilled and then nodded. "Perhaps. His first bond was broken. He has started to heal into a new bond, but I am uncertain how wise it is for them."

"It is Sammy, isn't it?"

"Yes." Cas looked at Dean. "How did you know that?"

Dean smirked. "They are staring at each other all the time now." He twiddled his fingers. "What happened? He didn't pull Sammy from Hell or anything."

"He showed his bond to Sam so that he could understand you better and Sam touched the broken place in the bond."

"Trust Sam to touch something he probably shouldn't." Dean straightened Cas' tie. "I can feel the confusion you've got over Sammy sometimes."

Cas didn't say anything and Dean adjusted Cas' lapels.

"Sam is bi, which means he likes guys as well as girls. He has been in awe of you since you saved me."

"I know."

Dean nodded. "You know he would roll over for you in an instant?"

Cas frowned. "Why would I want him to...Oh. You mean he would welcome intercourse."

Dean snorted. "Yes, Cas. That's what I mean." He stood up and held out his hand to Cas. "Come on. We've got plans to make." Once Cas was on his feet he leaned into Cas' space. "Think about it, okay, Cas? And don't hurt him."

Cas' eyebrows drew together. "I have no intention of hurting Sam. He is less of an abomination now."

Dean laughed and he shook his head. "Maybe you should talk to Gabe about it. Don't call Sam an abomination. You know he hates that and it wasn't his fault to begin with."

"Alright."

****

Dean had been expecting Sam to corner him. "I thought you'd be faster than this."

"Yeah, well, I got busy trying to defend myself against Gabe trying to help Cas get into my pants."

Dean gave Sam a look. "You could do worse than Cas in your pants, Sam. I think you _have_ done worse."

Sam sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Sure." Dean pushed the Impala's hood up. "What do you want to know, Sam?"

"Are you happy? Well, happier?"

Dean shook his head as he looked over his baby. "Sam, I am a hunter with a bond to an angel, having weird mind sex with an archangel, all while trying to keep myself and you from becoming meatsuits. Yeah, let's go with happier."

Sam leaned his hands on the side of the Impala. "Dean."

"What?" Dean turned to look at Sam. "What do you want me to say? That everything is prefect now? That I don't have these fucking impairments that are going to bite us in the ass at the wrong moment?"

"Dean." Sam reached out with his long arms and pulled Dean, protesting, into a clinging hug. "We are going to get through this. And I am far more fucked up than you are, Dean."

"Sammy. Always have to be in the lead." Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and held on for a moment before pushing against him. "Bitch."

Sam smiled as he stepped back. "Jerk."

****

**Author's Note:**

> This happened because of [this post on tumblr](http://shmem-the-pem.tumblr.com/post/36018073439/my-mom-and-i-were-talking-in-the-car-and-she-said) about Dean's eating habits. The idea grabbed me, wouldn't let go, and then morphed into...this.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading! :)


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